2Sense Shortie: I caught my BFF's BF cheating
Ladies, we all want to be a good friend to our good sis but sometimes our friends are not willing to accept the truth.
I will always respect when someone can tell me the truth about anything. I always say, "I'd rather be mad than to be in the dark and happy." So what happens when the truth may affect a good friendship? Tell us what you would do in a situation like this.
So here is the scenario:
My bff and I have been friends for 9 years. We share everything together. I'd like to believe we have the type of relationship where we can tell each other anything. Whether we want to hear it or not. But for the past 8 months, she has been dating this guy (who I think is playing her). He thinks I'm jealous because I don't have a man and that I am just mad because I want my bestie to hang out with me like she used to. My friend gets upset when I say anything about him. She likes to vent to me about what he is doing wrong but if I give my opinion, she gets pissed off and just doesn't want to hear it.
A few weeks ago, I went to a club with my brother for his birthday party. My cousin wanted me to go with her back to her car because she forgot her debit card. While we were outside, I saw my BFF's boyfriend was hugged up with some chick who he seemed very comfortable and cozy with. He had his arm draped around her shoulders as they both laughed and whispered closely in each others ears. They were holding hands and looking very much like a couple. I didn't confront him personally but instead (like a good friend) I told my BFF only for her to say that she thought her boyfriend was right about me and that I AM jealous. I was mad at her for a while but we have been friends for so long. Should I have even told her about what I saw that night? Or should I have let her find things out on her own?
Our Opinion: It's a very tough situation when it involves confronting someone that you care about with news that will hurt their feelings and may potentially cause some friction in your relationship however, you owe it to your best friend to be open and honest. Some people would say to stay out of their relationship and to let her come to terms with who her boyfriend is on her own. The whole "mind your own business" approach. After all, you were accused of being "jealous" of their relationship.
There are boundaries in friendships when it comes to respecting your friend's relationships with other people however, not telling your friend is almost like seeing a flashing "danger ahead" sign in front of you and letting your friend go towards it.
You must also keep in mind that it's not what you say but how you say it. You should make sure to take care in delivering the news. Show empathy to the situation instead of having an "I told you so" type of stance. Make sure to present the news as a warning to your friend as something that she should look out for and talk to her boyfriend about instead of judging or recommending that she's absolutely crazy if she doesn't just flat out leave him alone.
Most importantly, remember how you would want to be treated in this type of situation. Put yourself in your best friend's shoes and ask yourself, would I want someone to tell me if the situation were reversed? Also, how would you appreciate your friend's empathy in the situation while bringing this news to you?
Telling your friend about her boyfriend shouldn't make her want to throw away 9 years of friendship. Give her the time to process the information and see if she will come around. Also, continue to let her know that you are there for her.
Let us know in the comments what your opinion is on this situation. Would you tell your bff if you saw their partner cheating on them? If so, how would you deliver the news?
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