Have you ever sat with your group of friends and felt like you had nothing in common? Like you start questioning why you guys became friends? I can remember feeling this way a few times in my life. Life has a way of causing you to grow in different directions. As you grow, you experience different things that makes you change your stance and perspective on things that you may have been ok with in the past. Some friends get it and some don't.
Here are six ways to help you decided whether or not you have outgrown someone special in your life.
Change in Interest
You ever find yourself going to your and your besties favorite places and they just don't seem like fun anymore. This happens more than not. Your besties love going to this place but you cringe at the thought of going. This lets you know, you have outgrown those interests, therefore, you and your friend no longer have this place or activity in common. This could potentially cause a divide between you and your friends. Causing your friends to say things like "you've changed" or "you never had a problem with this place before?!" This will start to become more prevalent as you grown in your personal life.
You Crave New Friendships
Meeting new people is not a bad thing. As you grow into a different direction, so does your interest. You may notice that you suddenly have a desire to meet new friends that suit your new needs. You want to be surrounded by people who understand you life as it is right now. Once you meet people who happen to have those new interest in common, which may cause you to want to hang out with your old friends a lot less. You may even notice that you two don't seem to get a long as much as you used to. You may even notice it is harder to come back from a disagreement than it used to be.
Connection?! What connection
At this point, you don't really care to connect. You would rather make plans with your new group of friends instead. The saying is true, you make time for what you really want and honestly, you don't want to connect. It becomes easy for you to complain that your old friend, just doesn't get you anymore, or (in your opinion) they need to grow up.
Their Energy Drains Yours
You dread being around them at times. It almost seems as if they drain your energy. So much so, you have to hype yourself up just to be around them. This could be because you literally can become exhausted trying to pretend to be someone you are not anymore. You may be able to convince yourself to hang out with them but once the date is over, you feel like you need recoup time. Especially when the conversations seem to be passive aggressive or when all you guys talk about is the past. If the past is the only thing left that connects you, it may be time to move on.
It seems like one person is trying and one person is not. if you find yourself try to uphold the friendship, changes are you may be outgrowing that person or should I say that person may be outgrowing you. It is possible for it to go both ways but usually one person ends up trying to keep the spark alive. Eventually it becomes too much and they also will let go too.
They Hold You Back
It is human nature to feel a little jealous or insecure when two people start the race at the same time but end up in different placements in life. This is also true in friendships. If you have grown in a certain area of your life, and are ready to move forward. Your friend may not be ready for you to move ahead and in some instances try to convince you that you are not ready either. Sometimes our friends can hold us back because of their own fears and they tend to project them onto us. This can most definitely cause a strain on your friendship and ultimately results in you two parting ways.
We love the people who held such a special place in our hearts but it is healthy and natural to outgrow those same people you love. Some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Reason: To teach you a lesson or to show you something you can learn from.
Season: These people seem life they are here for a lifetime because the "season" may last for years. They may know everything about you up until a certain point in your life and this eventually fades. Losing them hurts and you will grieve the friendship, but your heart will lead you to move on and love them from a distance. As Tupac once said "Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained an enemy. I'm bigger than that. I still want to see you eat, just not at my table."
Lifetime: These people are your circle and your core. They are here for the highs and lows. They are who will be in your life no matter the circumstances.
We all get older and our experiences shape us in different ways. They also take us in different directions. Just wish them well, and continue to find your lifetime circle. Have you ever experienced this? Leave a comment below and share your stories. We'd love to hear them.