Why Forming Friendships Can be Difficult as an Adult
You know when you were a child, it was so easy to find others who shared a common bond with you. If you liked Barbies? We were friends. If you liked to play tag? We were friends. If you loved watching some of the same shows or celebrities that I liked? We were automatically besties. Not sure you all have struggled with this situation but this is one that most of us are sadly all too familiar with. Why does it seem hard to form meaningful friendships as an adult? Here are a few reasons why we feel it may be hard to make friends.
Lack of Trust
It can be very difficult to trust others especially in todays society. It has always been a dog-eat-dog world but now with social media, everyone seems to only look out for their best interest especially if it makes them look good on a platform. You never who is being genuine and truthful or who just wants to be seen. This can cause one to feel like they are not good enough, the live they live is too simplistic, and comparisons start to happen. You will find some people base "friendships" off of superficial traits such as looks, finances, and popularity. This can cause many people to feel like you do not know who people are and when you question people's identity, you cannot trust them.
Comparisons
Many adults tend to compare their lives with the next person. It can be easy to feel inferior about your accomplishments when you have other adults constantly bragging about their own or lack thereof. Comparison is the thief of joy and without that joy, it can be hard to dive deep into a relationship that is meaningful.
Life/Everyday Struggles
It is easy to get caught up in the everyday struggles of life. Between work life, kids, and home life, sometimes maintaining friendships can be hard. You mentally prioritize your family and work first, then your mental health and rest. This can sometimes take up most of your mental space and physical endurance. It definitely takes work to upkeep any relationship but let's be honest, we are not in high school anymore. Responsibilities take precedence over long and lengthy conversations about nothing. Life also has a way of making some of the best friendships slowly drift apart due to common bonds being no longer shared.
One-sided Friendships
Most people seem to be looking for accolades and praise. While others may be looking for a therapist that can help them work through their feelings. However, the same actions is not reciprocated and to be quite honest it can be very energy draining. Some people are energy vampires. They feed off of your kindness, enthusiasm, and positivity. This can be especially be draining to introverts and empaths. We love to listen and interact with others in intimate settings but the transfer of emotions can create an emotional and mental overload. This can be another reason why some people would refrain from going out in general let alone meeting new energies that could drain their own.
The Day-ones Syndrome
Some people have a hard time trusting new people. So much so, they put out a certain energy that makes them unapproachable and unavailable to new relationships. This can cause other people who want to get to know them better to feel like they are being blocked and unwanted. Therefore making it hard for those who are open to new friendships to find people who are just as willing to create them as they are.
After being alone for some time, it becomes the norm and can make it even harder to make friends. This is why you see many elders who prefer to be alone. It can be less stressful or maybe they just haven't found their person. A friendship has to be just as equally yoked as a relationship otherwise it will dissolve itself.
Let us know in the comments, do you have trouble making friends? Do you have a circle/tribe? Or are you a loner? Let us know in the comments and let's discuss.
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